WHAT UP, BITCHES?

The stupid want to grow up young, the wise do.

It's been a long time. Got busy with just not ever feeling like posting, then eventually working on the move. At Lance's place right now. Just thought Betsy died. She was just lying in the hall on her side and I poked her with my foot as I passed by, in a friendly way. And she felt weird, like she didn't move and it just felt like she had never felt before. I decided not to check because I didn't want to deal with that. It was minutes before Big Brother, and I wanted one last good thing before we freaked out that she had died. When I looked over at her shortly after from my seat she had rolled over to her stomach. I excused myself upstairs. Stood up there de-stressing for a full minute. Came back down and pet her a bit.

When it actually happens this is going to be hell.

Also, I thought of an amendment to the previous quote.

"The stupid want to grow up young, the strong do."

Someone who is smart may chose to stay young because it betters them in some way, hence being the smart path. While a strong person would be able to, regardless if their intellect.

So we were watching another Rachel's Challenge thing at school today. Don't remember if I talked about that before, might do it if I haven't later.

But I was thinking about how fucking nuts it is that she predicted the year she'd die in her diary. So I was like "I can think of when I'll die! And I'll do it two times better! I'll give the month and date as well!"

So I randomly came up with May 12th 2052.

It wasn't until shortly after that I realized that that date would leave me dead at the age of 55.

A few days ago I noticed I had gotten very internal that day. By that I mean I was very deep in thought, had trouble focusing, and didn't want to interact with people.
It started in English, when people were doing oral presentations. I had decided to do the poster board instead of the oral presentation, so I wouldn't have to talk in front of people. But I saw how easy the oral thing was, and I didn't want to do the poster anyway, so I went up there and winged it. So in a short bit of time I began to stress out an oral presentation. It was weird and quick.
Then in Latin I was just really focused on things in my head. Thinking about projects and such. When the lunch bell ranged and I saw Adrian out the door, I sighed in my head. Just really disappointed to see someone I know and talk to.
Luckily it went away around Biology, but it was just a really weird feeling. I'll try to pay more attention to my emotions to see if this is a common thing and how it comes and goes, but of course it's hard to study something like that because simply thinking about my thoughts and emotions changes my thoughts and emotions.

.

Ninto55 wrote:The stupid want to grow up young, the wise do.

Thought of a modification to this quote some months ago that I forgot to add.

"The stupid want to grow up young, the strong do."

Last night I had a dream, involving Matt, Pat, and Woolie from The Best Friend Zaibatsu (Liam was nowhere to be seen).

We were having a dinner or something with the three mentioned above, myself, my mother, and my grandmother (mother's side). I don't remember much, but I at one point pulled on part of the back of a chair and broke it off. Then later I heard Pat saying something about waiting for someone to pass by before he did something. Then I got up and in the hall beside us was a 10 dollar bill. Pat was up the stairs above it where he could see us and the dollar. Apparently I was hearing Pat's thoughts, and someone dropped some money, but who? And also someone shot a bullet through the dollar, somehow. I woke up right as we were going to investigate whose it was.

I was listening to their Last of Us playthrough that night, so maybe their voices just crept into my head. Weird.

Happy New Year no one!

In class, given a couple of papers to do some group project on. Afterwards we just have these papers on the desk, so I pick them up, and ask if I should throw them away. This one kid tells me not to, and then places more paper in the stack. Then I throw it away. Then he says I shouldn't have done that. Then I say:

"If you give the trashman trash, he trashes the trash, man."

I thought that was clever.

Holy shit it has been a while. Almost a year. Every now and then I get in the mood to write something, and then just put it off until eventually I lose interest. Have I even posted since the move? I don't know!

This holiday season, I went to my father's place in Pennsylvania, saw their house for the first time, and met Roosevelt. We were there two full weeks and a day (it was supposed to be a day less than two weeks, but airlines are assholes and liars). When I got back Betsy looked so weird. Roosevelt is a Golden Retriever as well as Betsy, but god damn. I know Roosevelt is only about 10 weeks old, but then going home and seeing Betsy she seemed fucking huge. Especially her nose. It weirded me out to the point where I briefly considered that she was replaced, but then I realized that was fucking stupid, and I really needed some sleep. Overtime I've gotten used to it, but she still looks weird. I found a picture from like a year ago, and it looks like what I remembered. I guess the slow changes were normal to me at the time, but when I was away from her for long enough my mental image of her regressed to when she was a bit younger, so when I got back she looked terrible.

I thought it was sad at first, for my last stretch of time with this dog to be me thinking of her as slightly odd and not what I remembered, and I thought I might hold it against Roosevelt. However, as I was typing this I realized that my memory of her younger is a good thing. When she is gone I will remember when she was younger, at least somewhat younger. Back when Niko was alive and we would go on walks daily. Before her left eye got fucked up. Speaking of Niko, I don't remember him as when he was laying on the couch unable to move (how I last saw him), but I remember when he was young and full of energy. I always thought the mind would remember the low points, they seem to last better for everything besides dogs. But now I see maybe with dogs (and perhaps any people you get close to), you remember them in a positive light, when they were full of energy and happy.

Speaking of Niko (once again), we watched a new episode of Family Guy last night. Brian got a brain-tumor and got dumb. During a commercial break Mom mentioned seeing a tweet with a picture of a dog staring at a wall, and warning that if you see your dog do this to take them to a vet immediately. We already knew this, now that we had experience with Niko, but I thought I should mention this here. When I started this I imagined someone stumbling upon it, and realizing my inner-genius or some shit. Now most of it is just my stupid ramblings and it would be rather embarrassing if it got out, yet I keep writing now. Maybe it is because the danger makes it fun, or this site is (surprisingly) a reliable place to store this stuff that I can find whenever I need to. It has been a year since I've posted and I just googled "y2fn" and found it no problem. Anyway, the point is, someone may someday find this, and that dog thing is important information. So in case anyone does stumble upon this, you now know that if your dog is just staring at a wall unmoving, something is wrong and you need to take him/her to a vet. Get your knowledge where it is given to you.

R.I.P. Betsy Ross, September 2002 - November 2015.

Just read through this thread. God damn, some of these are so weird. Feels like a different person. I should remember to record my thoughts more often, this is interesting as all hell. Though of course when someone inevitably finds these it'll be embarrassing as all hell. Oh well, worth it. I could have a private diary, but I'm not a fucking coward!

Also if it was a private diary I'd probably lose it eventually. Meanwhile this forum looks like it'll be here for a while. Not sure why though. Guess this site just lets you set up a forum and it never deletes it. Weird. I should probably look into this site and make sure all these posts are safe.

Edit: Also, forgot to mention, what the hell was up with me just posting some long ass chat log with Slayer? I skimmed it, but I guess I thought the conversation was good enough to save. Weird.

Feeling nostalgic...

If it isn't obvious by the timestamps, I have clearly stopped posting here. This part of my life is over, and I'll leave this here as a part of that. I had this long list of topics I wanted to explore or research on here, but never got around to it. Oh well.

Goodbye y2fn, for the second time. I don't think anybody expected this random forum to be this weird little place for me, but life is just weird like that sometimes. I always thought one of these days one of the other users would come back here and look through things, but I guess none of them are the type to enjoy looking through old forums. Lucky me.

2019 is bound to be a weird year for me, both externally and internally. But I'm looking forward to it.